Monday, June 29, 2015

backstabber or builder

Backstabber: one who betrays another under the guise of friendship; a person who acts positively in front but condemns or criticizes negatively behind back, usually in the form of gossip.

Have you ever found out that a close friend was really not close at all. That a respected acquaintance was secretly, viciously gossipping about you with hopes to damage and/or hurt you. This would be a person that at one time may have gained your trust enough that you felt comfortable sharing your feelings, experiences and challenges with. However, later you would learn that this individual would betray your trust and hurt your feelings. Their reasons could stem from jealous intent or opportunistic reward - but one thing rings true, they choose to backstab at your expense.

These are the two-faced artificial individuals who circulate bogus, harmful details about an unsuspecting person's reputation and character. They are synthetic people who display the same insincerity as a clandestine manipulator, a clever thief, or a cunning predator. They are fake people who give into their selfishness, scheming against their unsuspecting victims.

I'm sure you are cringing as you read about this kind of person. However... sadly, I think we've all been this person at one time or another in life. For who among us hasn't spoken against someone? Who has not sat in a clique of women and shared hurtful words or false statements that destroy, dishonor, defame or slander? If we were honest about it, I'm certain each one of us could confess that we've all thrown someone "under the bus" at some point in our lives. And whether we've been the victim or participant in backstabbing, it is important for us to understand the spiritual warfare and eternal implications that are present when such deceitfulness exists. For it is not our reptuation, but the Lord's name that we represent as His people. He is all that should be seen when others look at us. His is the character we should emulate when we speak. As Christians, we must ask Jesus to remove our lying lips and hateful hearts and replace them with His unending love and truth. We are instructed by Paul the following command, "Each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully of his neighbor, for we are all members of one body." (Ephesians 4:25) This is key for us to live together in Christ... authentically, transparently, honestly.

As women, we have been socially conditioned by our culture to be fake. Just look at the empty promises and false means of success that are imposed upon us from any magazine cover on display at your local grocery store. The sinful world lures us into thinking that only the strong, beautiful, intellectual, elite will survive. Our best life now can be achieved if we somehow find the secret to living better than the next gal... and with such success, we are promised to harness inner peace and be whole with the universe. Of course, we are not to make waves and attempt to address the true core issue of sin, for that would show weakness and the need for a perfect God. No, instead we are to maintain ourselves as super women who have and know everything. We are to emulate this model-perfect citizen at all costs. In short, we believe the lie that perceptions and rationalizations are more important than the status of our hearts and relationships. Phew! It is no wonder that we fall into the trap of backstabbing, lying, and gossipping against one another. We are clawing our way to the top of the proverbial ladder with hopes to find some form of satisfaction. But this world cannot satisfy.

If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. (Galatians 5:15)

This world is against true love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, and goodness. This world can not grasp the love presented from a Savior that would wash the feet of a man named Judas while knowing full well that he would later be betrayed and sentenced to death because of that same man. This world can only hear about such love and ask in amazement, "What kind of love is this?" The answer will always point back to Jesus the Christ. His way is the only way for us to follow so that we can stay in truth with one another and avoid compromising ourselves to anything other than noble, pure intentions.

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. (Ephesians 4:22-24)

Ladies, let's recommit our lives to walk with God and choose light over darkness in how we treat one another. Let's stop spreading hurt with our words and instead build up the body of His church. Let's pray and encourage one another to walk daily with Jesus. With Him, we can be satisfied and content. With Him we can edify and uphold one another. In Jesus Name, let's emulate His love to all the world and showcase a life of hope and peace... a life worth living in the name of our Messiah and Redeemer.

The LORD is near to all who call on Him, to all who call on Him in truth. (Psalms 145:18)



© The Devoted Woman | Victoria Anderson


  1. What an accountability reminder...we need to represent through how we act, Jesus.

  2. I know I have done that very thing....backstabbing. Telling myself that I am just commenting on the conversation. What a lie!!!! I repent rigth now!!! Cleanse my heart Oh God!!!!! The comment posted before mine...I ditto exacty what she said!!!!

  3. WOW!! What a conviction I just got! How awesome God is to forgive as well. I recommit my life to walk with God and reflect his light. Cleanse my heart Lord. Remind me that I am running the race to eternity and not a race to be in this world. Remind me Lord that I you are all I need and that if I compete with those of this world, that competition dims your light. Forgive me Lord because I too am guilty. Thank you for your love and mercy and grace.
    ~Thank you DW for posting this. I needed it!

  4. I am also guilty of doing this and being the victim. I repent! Forgive me Father for stabbing or talking evil about another person. I also forgive and lift up the persons that have done the same to me. Thank you for this. It is so difficult sometimes, but being reminded it is not about ME or even the petty stuff going on today. It is about our Father and love. We must love and show the world Jesus. This is the only way to save ourselves and others. Thank you for this, I so needed it. I praise the Lord for the grace and mercy that I am forgiven for my sins.

  5. yes u r right we have done it- thank u for throwing the bucket of cold water on us all by revealing this issue. I also repent and recommit my life to walk the way God intends us to. God bless all u honest people for admitting this problem. Who r we to judge anyone

  6. WOW - I have DW set as my homepage. As I was on the phone with a friend, reconnecting after others had divided us with their dishonesty, I opened to this. While I also am sometimes guilty of this behavior, this incident was particularly difficult for us to work past. God's choosing to point this messages out at the perfect time still amazes me. How great is our God! Thanks Victoria!

  7. This topic is very hard for me. I have been deceitfully used and betrayed by people I love dearly. I can no longer call them freinds, but I do still love them and pray for them. One person can cause so much damage, especially when u trust them. My business and my life was almost destroyed when I took in an old freind who's business was closed. This person managed to turn all who worked with me against me and helped them device a plan to start their own business within two miles of my business. I thought I was alone and because of the rumors that circulated about me I felt the need to constantly defend myself. But I have a perfect freind who's name is Jesus, he revealed many scriptures to me that helped me to carry own. One was especially helpful, "The Lord will fight for you, you shall hold your peace." (Exodus 14:14) It's been almost 2 years since this incident and I'm still in business, with a wonderful new staff. What I thought would destroy me has been a blessing. Wow, the strength and peace I feel now makes me want to shout! What satan intends to destroy us with, Jesus uses to make us stronger! Thank you Jesus for walking with me through the fire and thanks Victoria for this message. I pray this story will give others who have been hurt the strength to overcome. In Jesus name I pray. Amen