Tuesday, July 1, 2014

snotty nose, vindictive, passive aggressive... redeemed?

Let's face it... women can be down right mean and spiteful. We can venomously allow our disappointment with others to fester deep and grudgingly hold onto unforgiveness for years and years and years. We remember every detail and every person that has ever wronged us, hurt us, gone against us. And whether we like to admit it or not, we use guilt and shame to skillfully and cruelly manipulate our husbands, children, parents, family, friends, etc.

Yes, we can be very passive-aggressive. We are creatures who claim to love, but in reality we are quite skilled at quietly hating and scheming against one another. We are capable of releasing snide nastigrams, sarcastic remarks, and emotional traps to slowly suck the life out of those we wish to influence and break into submission. And if confronted on our methods, we pull out the tally sheet of wrongdoings against our challenger(s) - a list that we have faithfully accumulated over the years in order to defend our rights, to substantiate our dissatisfaction, and to "win" every argument.

The most disturbing thing is we easily justify our behavior... this snotty nose, vindictive, passive aggressiveness. We give ourselves permission to be blinded by our unforgiveness and hatred. But is this behavior Christlike? Are these resentful, selfish jabs and emotional roller coaster rides reflective of Jesus? Clearly not.

Paul tells us in Philippians that, “our attitude should be the same as that of Jesus Christ.” (Philippians 2:5) He encourages us to "be imitators of Christ." (Ephesians 5:1) As such, our attitude toward others must not be selfish. We must not be overwhelming, complicated, scheming, or vengeful. For if you look at Jesus' example, He maintained a perfect attitude in every situation. He prayed about everything and worried about nothing. So, we too should live humbly and ask God for guidance about every aspect of our lives - no matter who has wronged us... no matter what disappointments we have seen. We must allow Christ to work out His perfect will in and through us - without our own selfish justifications and interferences getting in the way.

Jesus’ attitude was never to become defensive, discouraged, or depressed. His goal was to always please His Almighty Father rather than to achieve a selfish agenda. In every trial, He demonstrated patience. In the midst of suffering, He was hopeful. When blessings came, He remained humble. And when ridiculed or abused, He made no threats - He did not retaliate in hostility. Instead, "He entrusted His life to Him who judges justly.” (1 Peter 2:23)

Ladies, each time we try to control our circumstances, our future, and the people around us... each time we drag along the burden of unforgiveness and selfishly attempt to manipulate with dramatic displays or venomous attacks, we stifle our spiritual growth. If we are to live as Christ, we must take to heart what God commands in Philippians, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4)

As Christians, we are no longer in bondage to a passive aggressive lifestyle. We can overcome our troubles and disappointments and be content that the Lord is in control of our well-being. If we claim Jesus as Savior, we are indeed redeemed. We have a new life in His Name. So, come on - let's live it! Embrace His way! Consider His example and speak and treat others as He would - in love and truth. Love your husbands. Love your children. Love your parents. Love one another. Make every effort to do what leads to peace and mutual edification. "Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself.” (Leviticus. 19:18a).

Ladies, let us no longer be tempted to use our words and actions to hurt, or confuse, or punish, or manipulate for the sake of our own self-service. No. Let us not live as "weak-willed women, loaded down with sins and swayed by all kinds of evil desires." (2 Timothy 3:6-7) Rather, let us acknowledge the truth of God's word. "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." (2 Timothy 3:16-17)

"The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down." (Proverbs 14:1)

We are to be instruments of God's grace. We are to be mirrors of Christ's image. We are to build up our homes and communities and love as Jesus loves. I encourage you to let go of your anger, hatred, disappointment. Give all control over to the LORD and simply... obediently, choose to love. Stop judging. Stop grudging. Stop nudging others your way. Rather, let the Holy Spirit work as you trust and obey Jesus' way... as you love love love love LOVE.

This is the day to live content. This is the day to rejoice and be glad as we represent the King of kings and Lord of lords in our life! TODAY IS THE DAY!

"But godliness with contentment is great gain. Pursue righteousness, godliness, faith, love, endurance and gentleness. Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses." (1 Timothy 6:6; 11b-12)



© 2010 The Devoted Woman | Victoria Anderson


  1. Thanks I needed that in the worst way! Amen Victoria.

  2. Victoria you are spot on with this one. Convicting, challenging & inspirational. If you can't say amen... say ouch!!!!
    Amen, Amen.