Friday, October 15, 2010

let it be

Today, Chuck and I are scheduled to drive to Minnesota with some friends for a weekend of relaxation and play time. Our good friends, Mike and Michele (M&M) are huge Dallas Cowboy fans, and this week Dallas is scheduled to play Minnesota. M&M invited us to join them for a weekend of fun - driving up to catch the game and watch the Cowboys play the Vikings as well as goof off in downtown Minneapolis. Of course, Michele and I are most excited to visit the Mall Of America (or as I like to call it, the "Mall-O-Ma") on Saturday.

The funniest part about this whole trip is that both Chuck and I are avid Pittsburgh Steelers and Chicago Bears fans - huge rivals to both the "Boys" and "Vikes". But because we love M&M, we have decided we can suck it up for a weekend and support their team. At first, I thought it was pretty big of us to cheer on a team we usually hate... but in truth, Chuck and I really win the most since we'll be blessed to spend some quality time with our good friends. WOO HOO!

So, the plan is this: At present, Chuck is currently in Oklahoma with a customer, but he will be flying back to Chicago by noon today. I am working/juggling to do's (both at home and at the office) trying to wrap up as much as possible before the busy weekend officially arrives and Mike picks us up around 3:00 p.m.

As you can imagine, with all we have going on - the latter part of this week really turned into official crunch time for both Chuck and I to finish our long list of to do's. Even this morning, I have been emailing back and forth with our German subsidiary discussing a few open-ended issues that need to be resolved before the weekend arrives. In truth, I know that I am trying to do too much before we leave for this long, relaxed three-day weekend. But I'm not one who can easily relax when there are loose ends streaming about.

For example, one of our cars is in the shop and needs to be picked up today. Our only employee just broke his leg and recently informed Chuck that he will be out of office for a few weeks undergoing surgery and treatment. Although I am first concerned for his health, now nobody will be in the office next Monday (while we are out of town) to receive shipments. The vet says Benny Beagleman has a yeast infection in his ear and requires a second round of ear drops (morning and night) in order to get better. Oscar (our 100+ pound mutt) needs ongoing supervision since he is old and requires much assistance due to arthritis and his aggressive cancer. So before we go, I have to prep Momba with babysitting duties and medicine dosages for the dogs. Furthermore, my house is in major disarray with dirty laundry and bills to be paid. My lower back and health has been questionable as some days I've needed to walk with a cane. My office looks like Christmas came early (and not in a good way) - for paperwork is now snowing from the ceiling rafters as we've been wrapping up our fiscal year end and moving into a new fiscal year - all the while incorporating a brand new accounting system. And worse yet... I have a pimple. (Ok, I don't really have a pimple... but it's likely I'll get one soon from all that's going on.)

Yesterday, while freaking out over all this, Momba kindly brought me lunch. She quietly sat in the office eating her salad and listened to me officially loose it - making my mole hill out to be the gravest mountain imaginable. She patiently watched this "Devoted Woman" grumble and complain about stupid matters that would be forgotten within a month's time. Then, once her nut job of a drama queen daughter finished getting it all out, she encouraged me with loving comments and graciously offered to take Benny Beagleman to his vet appointment that afternoon - allowing me more time to get my paperwork done.

When Momba left and the office was silent, I suddenly realized how much I had been complaining and boo-hoo'ing. I started conversing with God... "Lord, I don't want to complain. I know you continue to bless me. I'm thrilled to have some time off soon with M&M (and Chuck, of course). However, since Wednesday I've felt a bit behind the 8-ball regarding my usually efficient schedule. You know it's not because of poor planning or bad stewardship on my part... it's just been crazy-busy. As a result, I've hated running around like a chicken with it's head cut off, trying to get done more than humanly possible. However, for some stupid reason, I can't seem to stop letting it get the better of me. These past few days, I can't stop stressing or complaining. I'm trying so hard to relax and enjoy the journey, but I just hate this idea of getting bogged down with "old" work. I don't want to return to all this on Tuesday! But I also don't want to live sloppily while trying to keep the wheels turning. I've been juggling like a clown - keeping all these balls in the air while spinning plates and yodeling. This is ridiculous. It has been crazy crunch time... and in my mind, I feel I "have to, have to, have to"... I have to finish it ALL... I have to get everything done... I have to get my work, home, life "just so". But unfortunately, nothing is getting done... and I'm feeling overwhelmed. Help me, Jesus. I don't want to complain thru this clutter... but I'm so frustrated to finish it all!"

Once I got home and settled... once reclined in my bathtub with a hot cup of tea and surrounded by warm, aromatic bubbles, I started deliberating about my attitude regarding my work the last few days. While breathing in and out, the Holy Spirit whispered to me...

"Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed." (Luke 10:41-42)

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven." (Ecclesiastes 3:1)

"Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few." (Ecclesiastes 5:2)

"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." (John 14:27)

Praise the Lord for providing His holy perspective. I have been living like a busy-bodied Martha regarding my work. I have been reacting hastily and unthankfully. My heart has been unsettled and I've been quick to utter words of complaint and dissatisfaction while forgetting to praise the Lord for His continued blessings. I've been a worry-wart over time and matters of which I have no control. My job is to live obediently and honor Him as a good steward - trusting God to give me what I need... to handle what I encounter and, most importantly, when He'll have me encounter it. For a few days, I've lost myself in the clutter of life... I've been focused on a checklist rather than cherishing my King. Oh, thank you, Lord, for refreshing me with Your right mindset. For what work issue and worldly accomplishment could possibly be more important than aligning my pace with Your patient heart? You will work out all my work - in Your time, not mine.

There are only so many hours in every day... we cannot extend them any more or any less. So why lose our heads in errands? Why complain over trivial, stupid tasks. We should always rejoice in our work - doing our best to get things done while glorifying the King and focusing on His peace. Moving forward, I will "let it be" until God gives me new time to finish whatever must be done. I will know that with God, nothing in His plan will fall through the cracks. Yes, God will give me all that I need (even time) to accomplish my purpose in the season it is meant to happen.

So, now I will sit here relaxed. With coffee in hand and a heart at peace, I am taking my time to enjoy packing for the weekend. Praise the Lord for providing me with clothes to pack. Praise the Lord for giving me a home to return to. I will enjoy this time. I will enjoy my weekend. I will not stress over filing, accounting software, bills, automobiles. I will entrust my family to His sovereign care. I will let it be and praise His name.


Blog Posting Written By Victoria Anderson

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